I love your book!!! My 14 month old little girl is a handful. She is getting into everything and does not like it when we take anything away from her, whether it is a safety issue or simply not hers to begin with. I feel she is starting to get a very bad temper and I am really scared. I would like to know how to handle this. Thanks.

Thank you so much! I am so glad you like the book. Fourteen months is an adorable age, but it is when you can start to see toddlers asserting themselves. It is common to see tantrums, meltdowns, even hitting and biting starting at this age. They are overwhelmed with primal emotions that they are just learning to control and organize. The first thing you need to remember is that her receptive language development (what she understands) is way ahead of her expressive language (what she can tell you). This is a recipe for frustration and without the vocabulary it is the only way she can let you know how upset she is.

The best thing to do is follow the mirroring techniques I suggest in the book. She is not too young and the more you give her the message that you understand why she is upset and articulate that for her, the faster she will settle down. You can instantly defuse these meltdowns and help her to begin to regulate her emotions and her big reactions. By matching her affect and letting her know she got her message across, her general sense of frustration will ease and her language will benefit.

The next thing to think about is intent. She may not be grabbing things and getting into mischief because she wants to make you upset, but because she is exploring different objects and textures. She is in the process of making all kinds of discoveries, including that she is a person on her own and separate from you. Mirror, watch your agenda, and keep the house baby-proofed. Aside from that, stay neutral, pick your battles, and remember this stage is brief!