We have an 11 month old son who is hyper. We're not sure if this is normal, as our daughter was never like this. He seems very active and we're wondering... should we be concerned?

I affectionately call these little ones gladiators. Gladiator kids are feisty, they are full of energy and tenacity. He is young and it is very common for children this age, especially boys, to be highly active and there is no need to worry. You will just have your hands full for a while. Gladiator kids can be joyous, funny  and imaginative, and they can fill up a room with their personalities but often have trouble settling and knowing when enough is enough.

They are little jumping beans, all over the place and difficult to pin down for hugs and snuggles, and when you do manage to have a cuddly moment you’re likely to get a head bonk or an elbow to the lip. Not because they are mean or aggressive but because their bodies are always moving, and in their exuberance don’t always know their own strength.

My five-year-old daughter, Olivia, is a gladiator. She is a wonderful kid and a lot of fun to be with but she requires different parenting skills than my other two kids ever needed. My husband and I used to joke that she must have been a gladiator in another life. She is an amazing child and has really learned to control all these big feelings she has inside, but there were times I considered wearing a helmet for our night time lie downs. She would have something exciting to tell me or would just fling her body around in the bed and our heads would collide. Always embarrassed and sorry, but then it would happen again five minutes later. It’s just a little harder for them to control all their big feelings.

Older children who are like this can also push boundaries. They love the word “no,” and turn everyday requests like brushing teeth and turning off the TV into battles.

Here are some tips:

Stay Neutral. Getting angry and upset only fuels the fire adding to the emotional mix. You won’t be able to do this all the time but try, because it really helps.

Frontload. (For older kids) Help your child understand in each new situation what you expect and how you can help him make the right choices. Let him know what the natural consequences will be ahead if time, if possible, for negative behavior.

Adrenaline play. These kids have energy and running around outside is not enough. They will often tantrum or bug to release energy. Try wrestling and chasing games, or games like hide and seek to get their energy out in a positive way.

Try naming the behavior. Name their behavior something like the silly bug or the no monster. It can really help so that you can work on the behavior together.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be loving, but firm and consistent. Don’t threaten with consequences you know you won’t follow through on. It is better to pick smaller consequences and stick to them than bigger ones that you take back or forget about.

Catch them being good. It’s so important to let your child know you see the positive behaviors too.  Children listen to the things we say to them and form a sense of themselves based on what we feed back to them

Connect through play. Different from adrenaline play, this should be a wonderful cuddle time where you really make them feel delicious and loved.

Use Empathy. I describe how to use it effectively with the CALM technique in my book. It really works to defuse tantrums, help them understand their own feelings, and increases compliance.